Akira And Sonia: Destroy All Rouge
by AkiraKnuckles
Summary: Akira and Sonia are ticked with Rouge. She keeps getting in on their boyfriends. So they start plotting the demise of their winged friend, even though the tables may turn. Rating PG 13 for slight violence, and language.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** This is my first fan fiction, it's probably going to be bad, but bear with me.

**Disclaimer or whoever:** I do not own any Sonic characters, except Akira, and my friend owns Sonia. (Not from Sonic Underground).

Now on to the show!

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Akira wakes up to hear that someone broke into her house. She cautiously tiptoes into her kitchen where she hears the person who by coincidence is rummaging through her fridge. Akira ducks behind the garbage can and takes out a steel bat. She heads for the light switch and flips it on and gets ready to pounce.

"Hiiiiiy-,"she sees that the one in her house is none other than Knuckles.

"Oh, hi Knuckles. Uh, what are you doing at my house? And why are you raiding my fridge?"

Knuckles is wearing a grade-A Indiana Jones hat, and he has a milk mustache.

"Oh hi Akira. I ran out of food and it was cold in the Angel Island Shrine. I knew you wouldn't mind"

Akira takes a look at the clock hanging on the wall.

"Two o'clock Knuckles? You raided my fridge at two o'clock in the morning?"

"I was hungry."

"Fine just don't wake me up again, please."

"Okay." He walks over to the couch and invades it.

Akira walks to her room thankful she didn't have to use the bat she still grips.

7:00

Akira wakes once more to clatter in her kitchen. This time knowing it is Knuckles she curls up into her blankets making a sort of cocoon to drown out the sound of plates crashing together when…

"AAAAKIIIRRRAAAA!" shouts the red menace to Akira's sleep.

"Ugh! COMING!" Akira pulls on a camouflage shirt and faded blue jeans and makes sure to tie her hair with her favorite bandanna. A tie-die bandanna and unlike her others (which look like Solid Snake's from MGS) this one is an actual bandanna.

Akira runs into her kitchen where omelets are served with a side of toast with jam. Knuckles's hat is slightly burned, and he was wearing a pink apron with 'Kiss the Cook' written on it.

"So?" Knuckles is eager to see how Akira likes it. Akira takes a bite, then another, and then another.

"Wow Knuckles, you've outdone yourself!" Akira starts pigging out on the food. Knuckles didn't make the food any better than any other time he broke into her house and woke her up and was trying to make it up to her, but Akira knows how he feels about these things.

The phone rings.

"I'll get it!" Yells Knuckles running to get it.

It's Rouge. Akira can tell by how Knuckles starts talking tough. Knuckles used to do that with her, but nowadays he is more sensitive around her. Akira kind of missed the tough guy act. But she is grateful he shares most of his feelings with her. Still, it made him sound more attractive.

"Ok baby. I'll tell Akira." Knuckles hangs up the phone.

"Ami, Rouge wants to go to the mall with us and the rest of the gang. Ya wanna come?"

"Sure." Akira didn't like Rouge. She suspects Rouge has something going on with Knuckles, and the fact she wears spandex all the time has Akira thinking she probably had something going on with any guy she points to in the phone book.

"Ok. Finish your breakfast then we'll head off." It took only two minutes for Akira to finish her breakfast. She was already mostly done when Rouge had called.

" Come on let's go!"

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**Author's note:** Ok I know that twas short but for next chapter they will be at the mall. REVIEW! NO FLAMES! I know this chapter was boring but the havoc has just begun! We haven't had the partners in crime Sonia and Akira hook up yet! DON'T LEAVE ME! I LOVE YOU! Sorry I'm a little emotional at times. Anyway, you know you want to click the reviews button. Come on it won't bite! Just move your mouse. Good, now click the reviews button. Now say my story's good and tell me some fan characters. Good person! Bu bye! 


	2. The Mall of plot Thickeninging

Author's note: In this chapter it is Christmas. Today is Christmas Eve for me. But it will be Christmas when this comes up so enjoy. Sorry if you don't celebrate Christmas I do.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Sonic characters, except Akira. I do not own Sonia, my friend does. I don not own the Song "Bohemian Rhapsody" Queen does. I do not own the song "Yellow Submarine" Michael Jackson does. "Nate the newt" Tongue twister does not belong to me it belongs to the same friend who owns Sonia. Okay I'm going to shut up.

Knuckles and Akira glide to the mall Singing merrily their Christmas song.

Akira and Knuckles:"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy caught in a landslide no escape from reality? Open your eyes look up to the skies and see."

Knuckles: " I'm just a poor boy I need no sympathy. Because I'm."

Akira: " Easy come, easy go. Little high, little low."

Knuckles: " Anyway the wind blows doesn't really matter to me. To me."

Akira: "Mama just killed a man. Put a gun against his head pulled my trigger now he's dead."

Akira and Knuckles landed on the parking lot. They made their way slowly finishing their song and doing a little air guitar in between.

"Akira! Knuckles! You made it!" Rouge greeted them but it seemed more like a greeting to Knuckles. Akira already wary of Rouge and Knuckles's relationship before Akira was discovered by Knuckles a few months ago, so she just death glared Rouge.

"Hey Akira!" Sonia called Akira. Sonia is a red hedgehog with black tipped spikes. She is Akira's best friend. Most people say they match because Akira is a red echidna with some purple spikes, but they usually ignore those comments.

"Hi Sonia! How have you been doing? Has Shadow gotten better since the shrimp incident?"

"He's fine he's just in the bathroom with Sonic and Tails."

**In the bathroom**

"Oh god man that shrimp cocktail is still coming back to haunt me."

"Shadow are you done yet I need to pee and that's the only stall." Sonic did a little pee dance. He had been waiting for thirty minutes.

"That was NOT the ultimate shrimp cocktail. There IS a urinal ya know."

Sonic hearing this ran to the urinal to let out what has been bothering him for thirty minutes. Tails then came into the bathroom.

"Shadow are ya feelin' okay?"

Shadow replied by puking all over Tails. "Well. Strangely now I do." Shadow smiled and walked out of the bathroom.

"Eeeeeww!"

"Suck it up." Sonic relieved walked out of the bathroom and left Tails all alone to clean himself.

"Oy!"

**Back to the others**

"Well ladies and gentlemen I have tossed my cookies now we can shop."

Everyone ran into the mall. Rouge, Tails, and Amy literally dragging Sonic ran into the pink abyss of Limited Too. Akira dragged Knuckles into Hot Topic along with Shadow and Sonia. Akira and Sonia gossiped while sampling the Evanescence CDs. Knuckles hit his head against the wall, and Shadow tried to bargain a t-shirt out of a Goth guy at the register.

"Well everyone told me this was the ULTIMATE Rolling Stones t-shirt, but this price is not ULTIMATE at all. So this shirt must be priced to make it the ULTIMATE shirt if not I have a wonderful grave planned out for you ON MARS!"

"Great a grave on a different planet is what I wanted for Christmas anyway."

"Then I will be forced to send you to…" Shadow looks for a place were darkness would shrivel up and die. He spots the clerk's demise in a little shop not to far from Hot Topic.

"The headquarters for LIMITED TOO!"

At that moment the clerk's eyes bulged and he screamed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

"Yes so give me a discount or you will be sent to pink hell."

"I'll give you anything you want just don't make me go there! That's worse than life!"

The clerk priced down the shirt to $5.50 but then was transported to the Limited Too headquarters.

"Good riddance to bad trash."

Akira then started gossiping after the third track on her CD.

"Ya know what I think about Rouge. I think she has something going on with Knuckles."

"Oh Akira don't say that. Knuckles left Rouge for you. You should understand that Rouge might not want to let go of their relationship."

"You do know that she also might have something going on with Shadow."

"That little ! No way is she taking our boyfriends! Let's get her!"

That is when dear Reader the plot of our batty friend's death started.

**At Limited Too**

"NOOOOOOOOOO! The pink it burns! HIIIIIISSSSSSSS!"

"Oh calm down Sonic they have a cute dress I want to check out. Come on!"

"NONONONONONONONONONONONONO!"

"OY!"

Akira and Sonia hid in the aisle that no one would go in to spy on Rouge.

"Wow no one comes in here I wonder why."

"Sonia! Pay attention! They don't go in this aisle 'case it's the baby shoe aisle but I know how to get rid of our slu-ehm bat friend." Akira pulled out an opossum.

Sonia screamed. "Nate the newt-."

"NO! This opossum's deranged it goes nuts when it hears Nate the newt."

"Oh, I get it if anyone tried to help her she would be killed."

"Yes, exactly."

Akira tickled the opossum and threw it on Rouge.

**Author's note: **Okay that was four pages on Microsoft Word longer than the last one. REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW! NOW!


	3. Opossums and Table Turning

**Ze Author's Note: **HAHA! Last time I left you on a cliffhanger. But do not worry I have brought back the story of Rouge's demise. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Sonic characters. Except the ones I get out of Sonic Team's dumpster. And those include Randy Coon and Akira. Did you expect more? Well I'm not a freaking raccoon ya know! But Randy Coon is. I do not own Sonia she is my friend's fan character. Can you tell I'm going crazy cause only two people review my stories? Is it cause I'm a bad writer or are you guys ignoring me? Fine I'm going to start advertising.

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The opossum landed on Rouge's head and growled.

"Oh my god Rouge! You have an opossum on your head!" Tails whispered and soon he performed escape plan H (ducking under the closest object, in this case the baby shoes aisle, with your hands over your head). Tails looked up the aisle to see Akira and Sonia watching and snickering every so often.

"Sonia! Akira! Rouge has an opossum on her head and- wait! Why are you guys in the baby shoe aisle?"

Sonia and Akira looked behind them to see the fox in horror. Then they realized that there might have been more than one opossum in the store cause Tails himself had a grade A opossum on his head. But Tails obviously didn't realize in what danger he was in.

"Hey! I know why you girls are in here! Is one of you going to have a baby? I'll plan the baby shower!"

"Umm. Tails none of us are gonna have a baby. We were in here to… Uh, protect ourselves from the opossum? Yeah." Akira spoke first so Sonia would have to tell him he had an opossum lazing on his head.

"And Tails you have an opossum on your head."

Tails stiffened and looked up to see an opossum waving to him and grinning.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NATE THE NEWT NEVER KNEW NELLY NEIGHS AT NOON!"

At that moment the opossum bit him in the head. The opossum had never been screamed at 'I AM CALM, I WILL NOT HURT YOU MASTER YODA!' before.

"GET THIS OPOSSUM OFF MY HEAD!"

Knuckles hearing someone scream to get an opossum off of their head put on the Indiana Jones hat and ran into Limited Too.

At Hot Topic 

"Where did everyone go? Then that means it must be time for the UTLIMATE LOOTING!" Shadow grabbed everything he wanted and Chaos controlled any alarms that would ruin the ultimate lootin'.

**Back to the Action**

Knuckles arrived at Limited Too to see.

Tails running around screaming with an opossum biting him on the head.

Rouge breathing heavily close to screaming with an opossum playing golf on her head.

Akira in the baby shoe aisle.

"Akira. What are you doing in the baby shoe aisle? Are you pregnant? Why didn't you tell me? Wait it's not my child is it? I KNEW YOU WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH ME!"

"Knuckles, Knuckles don't jump to conclusions! I'm in here because I'm hiding from the opossums. And why would I shop here for baby things? There's a baby store right next to this one."

"Umm Knuckles. _Help!_" Rouge looked like she was going to keel over if someone didn't help right then.

"Okay nothing to worry about." Knuckles pulled off the opossum like nothing.

"Rouge now you show the opossum that they are the master, say I am calm I will not hurt you master Yoda in opossum."

Rouge shakily said, "Nate the newt, never knew, Nelly neighs at noon."

The opossum growled and attacked Rouge who ran screamed, "NATE THE NEWT NEVER KNEW NELLY NEIGHS AT NOON!"

"Hmm, that's odd that usually always works. Weird." Knuckles then pulled off the opossum on Tails's head, which took off a little piece of the fox's ear.

"Nothing band-aids can't heal." Knuckles handed a band-aid to Tails, who growled at him in return.

"Your welcome!" Knuckles rode off into a billboard of the sunset on an opossum. Then crashed into the billboard which let loose the opossum he just caught into the mall.

"Smooth move, Stoned Rider. Your trusty opossum Silver left you in the dust." Said a certain black hedgehog that didn't do much but steal stuff.

"Oh well WE don't own the store. Not our problem."

"Umm…Guys… Did you notice that it is really dark in here?" Sonia said looking around.

"Look!" Akira pointed at Rouge she was outside stroking the opossum they couldn't hear it but she was laughing maniacally.

"That little (bleep)! She locked us in here… _For the night!_" Shadow had a flashlight and was flipping it on and off making bad thunder noises.

"We're going to starve!" Said Tails in front of a Pizza Hut.

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Was it good? Please say yes. Reviewing is a good thing or I will start advertising this story. And you don't want that.

Sample ad:

Knuckles: Why don't you go see, um? What's that word? That story, made by AkiraKnuckles? It sounds, good. I think?

Shadow: Okay, Knuckles. But what, is it, about?

Knuckles: Akira, and Sonia, are trying to kill, Rouge.

Shadow: What's the name, of this story?

Knuckles: Akira and Sonia.

Shadow: No you fool the name is Akira and Sonia: Destroy all Rouge! You suck at acting!

Knuckles: I suck! You should look in a mirror one day!

Shadow: Why I oughtta!

Okay no more of that Review and tell your friends please! I need to be loved just like everybody else does. Sorry. Bye!


	4. Short Chapter Of Preparing

**The people find the Author's note: Guilty of being in bold font. And being underlined. Anyway we left our heroes stranded in a mall. Note that there is a food court right next to them and they are convinced they will starve. Why? No clue. Too much opossum chemicals in there brain but I'm no doctor. For now, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Disclaimer: See you on Sunday. Just kidding, All Sonic related fuzziness besides Akira, and Sonia belong to Sonic Team. Or SEGA. Or that guy that lives in the bushes… Never mind.**

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"So what do we do?" asked Amy.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT WOMAN! YOU GET US OUTTA HERE!" Shadow was hyperventilating and had a crazed look in his eye.

"Well we obviously know who's claustrophobic." Sonic rolled his eyes. Sonia seeing Shadow freaking out went to his aid and was calming him down by rubbing his belly and singing:

"You better shut up mutt, you better shut up. Or might just get whacked in the head." Some how, this was working and soon Shadow was sleeping.

"Oooookaaay." Akira was then glad that she never had to do that to Knuckles.

"Ssssssshhh! He's sleeping." Sonia whispered.

Everyone at that moment stepped back, turned around and forgot that happened.

"Anyway, let's get some food to eat and find some stuff to sleep with." (No she didn't mean make out when she said that. Perverts.) Akira some how was calm in this situation and knew what to do. Everyone ate at the restaurant of his or her choice and split up half went to clothing stores, half went to outdoorsman stores.

"Okay we have enough stuff for everyone let's go to the center of the store where they have the glass ceiling where we can see the stars." Akira raced in front of everyone. This would be the night with Knuckles without Rouge.

Everyone was pared up with someone except Tails so Tails got the opossum that bit off part of his ear and he squeezed the life out of that opossum. Even though they were stuck in a store the all had a pretty romantic night. Except Tails of course but he got his revenge even if it was an accident.

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**Author's note in jail: Next chapter I will tell you what happened that night. And don't blame me if it ends up in a very controversial game of… TRUTH OR DARE! Sorry for the short chapter but next one will be longer. And now a message from our sponsors:**

**Everyone's favorite Fart In A Jar is getting a new scent! Introducing Fart In A Jar: Silent But Deadly! Fart In A Jar will be in any store that hasn't sued us for killing their customers, or in Dr. Kavorkian's shop of death. Do not open jar, gases inside may be flammable. **


	5. The Night of TRUTH OR DARE!

**Author's note still in jail: The bail to get author's note out of jail is 2,000. But anyway, sorry for being so long I got caught up in schoolwork and one of my stories got erased…A very popular one too! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So yeah, I also made a new story to fill up the blank space in my heart left when my story got erased. PHILIP! (Don't ask I name my stories real names in my imagination…Or maybe I'm just crazy…Probably crazy). **

**Disclaimer: I missed you on Sunday, just joking! I don't know who you are! But Akira belongs to me, Sonia belongs to my friend, the other Sonic characters belong to SEGA, and the opossums belong to the Milwaukee Zoo. And Yellow Submarine belongs to Michael Jackson. On to the fic!**

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"Aah so beautiful! Isn't it opossumy?"

"Gack! Ack! You choke me!"

Tails was choking the life out of the poor little opossum and didn't realize it. He was too busy adoring the stars above him.

"Hey everybody. Since we're gonna be here all night," Sonia looked around the room with an evil look on her face (which suited her well). "Why don't we play a game?"

"Oh I know! Let's play I Spy! I'll start first! I spy with my little eye something…Dark!"

"Shadow?" Akira was the only one not ignoring Knuckles.

"How did you know!"

Sonic looked slightly annoyed. He had caught on to what his sister was saying. "NO NOT I SPY YOU IDIOT! SHE WANTS TO PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!"

"Okay! No need to yell!"

"Sorry. I don't like closed spaces."

"And you called me claustrophobic, faker." Shadow was woken up by Sonic's yelling.

"Well actually, no offense Knuckles, but that sounds like a better game." Akira started getting all the sleeping bags in a circle. Knuckles pouted and then decided _Can't beat 'em, Join 'em! _

All the Sonic friends got together and started. Since Sonia thought of to playing she went first.

"Okay, um… Shadow truth…OR DARE!"

"Dare me woman!"

"I dare you to…" Sonia whispered in Shadow's ear.

"…HELL NO!"

"Ya gotta do it this is a no chicken game!"

"Fine…mrnamurklefrukle." Shadow went over to Sonia and gave her a peck on the lips.

"No no. That's not what we agreed."

"Ugh! Fine!" Shadow kissed Sonia on the lips.

"Now it's Shadow's turn." Said a satisfied Sonia.

Akira looked disgusted, "Sonia you have a sick mind!"

Shadow was wiping his mouth. "Nasty, Sonia have you invested in a toothbrush?"

Sonia giggled.

Shadow looked confused, "Whatever, faker! Truth…Or death?"

"Umm Shadow it's truth or dare, not truth or death." Said a still shocked blue hedgehog.

"Doesn't matter, faker. Choose dare and you will get the ULTIMATE death from the ULTIMATE LIFE FORM!"

O.o

"Right. Truth then."

"Ha! I KNEW IT! THE FAKER ISN'T MAN ENOUGH TO TAKE HIS DEATH NOW! But don't worry, he will die at my hands!"

"Sure just ask me a question. AND STOP CALLING ME A FAKER!"

"NEVER! Is THIS yours?" Shadow held a stuffed pink bunny wearing a doggie sweater.

Sonic sighed, "Yes. It is."

"HA THE FAKER SLEEPS WITH A STUFFED BUNNY!"

"Oh give it a rest already Shadow we all know he sleeps with stuffed animals. You do too!" Knuckles was getting tired of this.

Shadow immediately shut up.

"Thank you Knuckles. Now Tails!"

Tails was asleep squeezing a opossum corpse.

"Okay… Akira! Truth or dare?"

"Dare me sucker!"

"WHAT WITH THE NAME CALLING!"

"Sorry!"

"I dare you to sing your favorite song as stupidly as possible."

Akira jumped on top of a table and started singing Yellow Submarine off beat and out of tune without even singing a real word in the song except 'We all live in a yellow submarine'.

"BLAHBLAHBLAHYADAYADA! DOO DOO DOOO, SOMETHING SOMETHING EDEDA! DIPDEDIP DOO DOO DOOO, DEEDEDEEEE! WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE! A YELLOW SUBMARINE A YELLOW SUBMARINE! WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE A YELLOW SUBMARINE A YELLOW SUBMARI-"

"You can stop now."

"Thank you." Akira leaped off the table.

"Is that really your favorite song?" Knuckles whispered to her.

"No, but Sonic hates that song."

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**Authors note in the streets: I'll finish the rest of what happened that night in the next chapter. Goodnight folks! I think. O.o**


	6. A Soon To Be Marrige

**A/N: Sorry I took so long, I blame it all on writer's block.**

**Disclaimer: hi!

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**

The rest of the night resolved in scary shit… very scary shit, and after all of the scariness the Sonic people magically escaped from the mall.

"Hey guys I have a bat!" which was followed by a smash, and a YIPEEEE!

**/Later/**

"Oh we are SO getting that slut!" Akira said furiously.

"Yeah that bitch is going DOWN!" Sonia yelled while eating Skittles.

"We have to give her the ULTIMATE TORTURE!" Akira yelled.

"What do you mean? A date with Matt?"

"No, better. Let's get Rouge drunk and have her marry Eggman! IT'S THE PERFECT PLAN!" Akira had a crazed look on her face.

"But how do you know Eggman wants to get married?"

"He's the loneliest sack of crap in the dating scene."

"Really?" Sonia had big chibi eyes while saying that.

"DUH! Now let's start a party!" Akira sounded evil.

**/At their party/**

"Well hello Rouge, do you want a drink?" Akira greeted her nocturnal menace.

"What do you have?" Rouge said obliviously.

"Punch, Scotch, Whiskey, Tequila…" said Akira trying to look innocent.

"Umm, I'll go with the punch." Rouge said suspiciously.

"Right away." Akira scooped some punch into a glass.

Rouge took a sip. "Umm. Why does my punch have a syringe in it?"

"Umm, I don't know…" Akira's eyes went wide while still trying to look innocent.

Rouge glared at her but continued drinking until she got as drunk as possible.

"Ha! My plan is working!" Akira smiled villainously.

**/In another room/**

"Ok fatass. I think your date is ready for you. Now just get her and go to Las Vegas and married. AND MAKE SURE TO BRING BACK A VIDEO TAPE!"

Eggman was writing all of what Sonia was saying on his hand, while eating children.

Sonia heard a whistle. "Ok now go out there."

Sonia tried to push Eggman but found out that, that was impossible. So she pinched him so he would run out the door. "Move fatty, MOVE."

Eggman was united with the drunken Rouge and left for Las Vegas.

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**Sorry this chapter sucks, and is so short. I can't figure out what to else to do. So can my loyal fans review some possible ideas? Please? Well now I'm going to work on an Avatar story. REVIEW!**


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